Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

Okay, so I know I’ve never been known as the most patient person in the world, but why does this whole weight loss thing have to take so long?

It all seemed so simple to me: eat less calories than you burn, exercise regularly to burn even more calories, and BOOM! Kate Moss.

What do you mean, that’s not how it works? Of course that’s how it works.


My eagerness to see some kind of physical proof of improvement was teetering on the brink of stone cold desperation this morning. I mean, I almost ran back into the traitorous, lying arms of my scale. Fortunately, I came to before stepping on it and destroying my self-esteem for the day.

This morning I looked in the mirror and scowled at my waistline thinking, “Ugh…what a mess! This is not working. But if it is working, it’s working much too slowly.”

I don’t know, you guys. It may be time to call for reinforcements.

Remember yesterday when I said I’ve tried “everything” when it comes to weight loss? Perhaps I over-embellished a bit. After all, I haven’t tried liposuction or a gastric bypass. And while I don’t see anything wrong with people choosing to use these methods, I’m afraid they simply aren’t for me.

In addition to being far too expensive and invasive, your girl is scared to death of anesthesia, white coats, needles, and hospitals. Yuck. 💉👨🏻‍⚕️

When it comes to anesthesia, I’m always paranoid that I’m going to haphazardly wake up in the middle of the procedure and not be able to actually communicate that I’ve woken up because I’m still so doped up. I keep imagining screaming in my head while the surgeons–oblivious to my plight– continue to tinker with my insides.

Thanks, really freaky story on 20/20 that I watched as a child and never, ever forgot about. 😱

Anyhow, despite the fact that I have tried many, many weight loss methods over the years, I realize that there are still a handful of options left to possibly explore. One of those options is something that I’m seriously considering at the moment: medical weight loss.

Over the last few weeks, I have been seriously thinking about trying out a very popular medical weight loss clinic in my area. I first heard about them last summer, but I had completely forgotten about it until their name popped up yet again.

Based on everything I have read about them, I trust their reputation enough to at least call and schedule a consultation. I mean, what’s the harm? If nothing else, I can check out the local office, learn more about their services, ask a few questions, and see if they think they could do something to actually help.


On the positive side, I keep pondering how I’d feel if medical weight loss really was the answer to my problem. I mean, I would be simply ecstatic if I was able to lose even half the weight they claim to help their clients shed each month. Even having someone address the hormonal imbalances alone and losing no weight would be a miracle for me!

Simply based on their estimates and my own shoddy mental calculations (I’m only good at math when a calculator is in my hand 😆), I could have a brand new body before Christmas. Every single pound that I want to lose could be completely gone by then. None of my clothes would fit anymore. People wouldn’t even recognize me (including myself). I could literally prance into 2020 like:

Just thinking about that freaks me out because it would be… the most amazing thing ever. It would change my entire life.

Yet, there is a flip side (isn’t there always?). 😒

Medical weight loss, on average, can be quite costly. Perhaps this is why I rarely hear of anyone losing weight this way (although someone I follow recently admitted to having successfully gone to a clinic in their city).

On top of whatever food and gym memberships people shell out money for each month, the average medical weight loss program can cost hundreds of dollars a month, if not per week. Of course, the clinic I am interested in is no exception, which is why I initially thought I’d have to abandon the idea altogether.

Then, a miracle happened. My parents recently offered to pay for my first two months!

I’m sure some of you may be wondering why I’ve been sleeping on this offer and didn’t sprint to the center to get started. Heck, I’m sort of wondering the same thing. I guess the truth is that I’m really nervous about it.

First of all, this would be a tremendously generous gift; I don’t take their offer lightly. Not only would I be putting a lot of pressure on myself to get the most out of the program during that time, but I would feel extra anxious about the outcome due to someone else investing in my success, if that makes sense.

I know how often I have fallen short of the mark when it comes to past weight loss efforts, so I would constantly feel anxiety about needing to make significant progress in the program. Failing on someone else’s dime would make me feel absolutely terrible, and I’m not sure that I feel comfortable putting anyone in that position.

Secondly, I’m quite nervous to discuss weight issues with other people (even here on the blog). This is especially true of medical professionals because I’ve not had the best experience with doctors and the like where my weight is concerned.

Over the years, I’ve gone to several primary doctors for help and guidance (due to multiple relocations), but it never really ends up going anywhere. My weight never seems to be as much of a priority as other things, even though my weight is something I desire to fix above anything else. Instead of helping me focus on the issue and potential hurdles, they just want to push a pill or continuously use me as a human pincushion.

If the money I’ve lost on lab and imaging bills were pounds, I’d be a double zero by now.

I think going to a clinic that specifically focuses on weight loss itself would be a breath of fresh air for me because it’s all they do. Their whole objective would be to look at me, as a unique individual, and personalize the experience based on my body chemistry and lifestyle. I wouldn’t be automatically viewed as some random fat girl who “probably eats nothing but junk food and is as inactive as a rock”, which actually isn’t the case at all.

It’s been really hard to lose weight with other methods because it’s often a very general thing. However, not everything works for everyone. If weight loss really was that cookie cutter, no one would be overweight and obesity wouldn’t be as much of an epidemic as it is. And of course, this isn’t to say that everyone who “tries to lose weight” actually does try, but what about the people who truly do?

Have I always eaten perfectly? No. Have I always been perfectly consistent about working out? No. I’m truthfully not one of those people who are completely in denial of their role as it pertains to having gained weight in the first place. I have definitely made mistakes; there is no denying that.

However, when it comes to actually trying to lose weight, following diets, and working out consistently for a reasonable period of time, I have always given it 100%. Anyone who knows me personally would be the first to tell you that I shouldn’t even be in this position right now.

No matter how well I follow a diet or how much consistency there is, the results are either nonexistent or altogether negligible. For years, it has seemed as though I have to work twice as hard for half the results. It’s so disheartening to continually feel as though nothing you do–no matter how “right” it’s supposed to be–is going to help you.

I suppose in some ways I simply want an answer, a reason for the difficulties I’ve been having. I mean, I am aware that I have a few uncontrolled health issues that are well known to make weight loss more challenging, but still.


It pains me to even bring up any kind of medical stuff because it seems as though overweight people are always saying stuff like that. However, I’m genuinely not using it as an excuse. To be honest, I tend to forget that they’re even a thing because I simply choose not to focus on things of that nature. I do not desire to point to various conditions and blame them for all that ails me.

However, at this point, it may just come down to something really simple and fixable being really out of whack. But since my doctors seem to all have ADHD and since they can’t focus on one thing long enough to get it sorted out, perhaps the weight loss clinic can.

With any luck, I will stop procrastinating and drum up enough courage to set up an appointment for a consultation within the next week or so. Even though I know the program will be a lot more strict than what I’m currently doing and that it will require a totally different level of commitment (including needles! 😫), I’m beyond willing to see if my unanswered questions can finally be put to rest.

My complete happiness sort of depends on it.

Today was Day 11.

Here’s to hoping. ✨🙏🏽💫

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2 thoughts on “Desperate Times Call For Desperate Measures

  1. I’ve never heard of medical weight loss. I figured that meant gastric bypass and things like that, but this clinic sounds interesting. Is it sort of like a nutritionist, personal trainer, medical doctor all rolled into one? That’s really awesome!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey there! Thanks for saying hi. I would totally agree with you; I also thought of medical weight loss as weight loss surgery. Depending on where you are, I definitely think it does fit under the umbrella term of “medical weight loss”, right alongside clinics like I described. And though every clinic varies and may offer different services, a good number of them address weight loss from a more holistic view. They might run various medical tests to see where you stand health-wise, and then address any issues that may impact weight loss/gain. A program may include medication, supplements, vitamin shots, one on one counseling, and a detailed diet plan. I’ve found some really cool places that offer amazing individualized care, so it really depends on what a person is looking for. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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