Today I threw a fit.
I have zero remorse.
Sure, I’m not a five-year old who lacks the emotional maturity and understanding to refrain from stamping about as she huffs and puffs like a disgruntled bear, all because things didn’t go her way. I get that; really I do.
But I was tired and hungry and worst of all, I had to workout.
Mornings are not my best friend, so when it comes to morning workouts, it’s usually a total no go for me. However, they say that it is best to exercise in the morning.
Last week, when I made up my mind to really dig deep this time and get this weight problem under control once and for all, I had made it up in mind that I would get up bright and early Monday morning to workout. Then Monday actually came. I was devastated.
What–did I think the planet was going to get pummeled by a life-destroying asteroid before Monday morning rolled around?
Based on my completely irresponsible decision to stay up until nearly three this morning, it seems as though I hadn’t taken myself or the concept of a morning workout too seriously. Of course I was going to wake up groggy and grouchy like a preschooler prematurely awakened from their midday nap!
Eh. What can I say? There are times in life when I am incurably empty-headed.
By the time I made it out of bed to rouse myself awake enough to see halfway straight, I was quite upset. I knew I had to workout, but I really, really, really didn’t want to. The mere thought of pulling my shorts and sports bra on made me shudder with regret and crave the warm, non-demanding embrace of pretty much anything other than a workout.
Long story short, I managed to get dressed and take on a poorly thought out workout session. But boy, was it awful! Worst. workout. ever. I mean, it was bad even for me.
Aside from preferring to be pelted in the face with rotten goose eggs than exercise, I had significant trouble deciding what kind of routine to actually do. Normally, my workouts are well organized and reasonably demanding, but today? Pfft! All aboard the Hot Mess Express. Choo freakin’ choo.
Originally, I had said I’d make today an arms day and lift weights since I hadn’t lifted more than a pencil since Booth shot Lincoln.
Well… I did try doing some reps with the dumbbells, but upon (quickly) tiring of them, I started doing squats with my new weight bar instead. Finding the bar a bit awkward (talk about short lived!), I got distracted by my playlist and decided that
twerking rhythmically convulsing to the music was a bit more fun.
Eventually, I settled on the rowing machine.
Thanks to a handy dandy HIIT timer app, I completed a 5 minute 30 second rowing session (with a five minute warm up and cool down). I usually shoot for at least twenty minutes when I row, but it seemed as though I needed to ease back into the swing of things after being away from it for so long.
Aside from the few moments when I thought my arms and legs were going to break off, the workout went incredibly well–even better than I had imagined, in fact. My heart rate was up, my muscles were awake, and (gasp) I wanted to do even more. I had so much pep in my step that I had popped up from my rowing machine planning to spend an hour doing incline on the treadmill. I was going to blast my favorite Spotify playlist and scorch those fat cells!
That was when everything went left.
Just as I stepped onto the treadmill, I realized that the safety key was missing. What in the actual heck. Frantic, I shoved my hand into the cup holders, completely flabbergasted by its disappearance. It wasn’t there, but yet, it was always there. Hastily flipping up the treadmill belt, I searched all along the carpet for the wayward treadmill key. No key. I rummaged through all of the desk drawers. No key.
So there I was, finally ready to work out and get my Instagram baddie body– with no treadmill key. Well, no treadmill key meant no walking on the treadmill, so I was suddenly livid. I mean, how can a chunk of plastic just vanish out of thin air? Furthermore, how dare it come up missing right when I’m in the zone, finally ready to activate beast mode? 🤬😤
To the best of my knowledge, no one has fooled around with the key or misplaced it. I didn’t remove the key from its normal resting place in the cup holder the last time I used it either. I mean, it has “lived” in the same spot for the last four years without being abducted– why switch things up now, of all times?
Well, as much as I would like to say that I silently shrugged my shoulders and resigned to do something else, I can’t. In fact, I was far from silent. You may as well call me the wolf from the Three Little Pigs because I was huffing, puffing… and good and ready to tear the whole house apart.
Even as I fumed, I knew I was blowing my fuse over something fairly petty. However, I genuinely felt as though the universe had betrayed me. I mean, come ON. 🐍 And to think I had gotten up after only three hours of sleep for that!
After stamping about, grunting like a caveman, and closing doors a bit too forcefully (about ten minutes later), I called off the search party and took a shower. Aborted mission. I was not happy.
Could I have picked another activity to engage in for an hour instead of doing incline? Absolutely.
But did I want to?
I guess my ex was right when he used to say, “Prior planning prevents piss poor performance.” (sigh)
The day wasn’t all bad though. So far, I have been able to stick to my calorie allowance of 1,300. Of course, I haven’t a single calorie left until tomorrow, but I think I did really well today. Deprivation on a diet? Who? Where? Not me! Not over here!
…at least not today 🤫
Today’s Consumption: 1 raw mango; 1 cup of coffee; two homemade grilled chicken breast tacos with pico de gallo and sour cream; a serving of Mexican rice; an epic salad (lettuce, beets, radish, carrot, cucumber, cheese, and Thousand Island dressing–my fav, but SO many calories 😭); a cup of light ice cream AND a Starbucks caramel frappuccino light.
So while I didn’t get to hit the treadmill today and I have no idea when I will be able to (thanks, stupid missing treadmill key), I was able to power through initially not wanting to workout. I also found it easy to stick to 1,300 calories, which hasn’t been the easiest over the past week.
Today was only Day 1.
God help me. 😝
Featured Photo Credit: Snapwire via Pexels
GIFs from GIPHY